In recent posts I addressed how to communicate with different thinking attributes. Today I would like to narrow in on the behaviors, Expressiveness, Assertiveness and Flexibility, and what it means to feel scratchy.
Think of a time in your life when you were asked or expected to behave in a way that made you feel uncomfortable. Maybe a friend put you on the spot at a wedding and asked you to give a speech. Maybe you were asked to change the class or grade level you were teaching for a long time. Maybe you were forced to make an important decision in a very short period of time.
Depending on where we live in the behaviors, 1/3, 2/3 or 3/3, the need to flex can make us incredibly uncomfortable, or as we call it in the Emergenetics world, “scratchy.” However, when we adjust our behaviors to meet the behaviors of others, we are opening opportunities to build rapport with our colleagues and students.
Here are some tips for how to communicate and build rapport through adjusting our behaviors:
First-Third Expressive: Use fewer words, allow for silence.
Third-Third Expressive: Speak up and use gestures, engage in constant conversation.
First-Third Assertive: Take a slower pace, ask for their opinion.
Third-Third Assertive: Keep the pace fast, give your opinion and don’t shy away from debate.
First-Third Flexibility: Stay the course when making decisions, allow for fewer changes.
Third-Third Flexibility: Give options, allow for change.
In making these adjustments for each other, we increase the likelihood that our conversations will be more fluid and productive.
Challenge: Over the next week examine a colleague’s behaviors on his/her profile. Experiment with flexing your behavior to match rapport. Please share your experience and outcomes below!
Source: Emergenetics:Tap Into the New Science of Success by Geil Browning, PhD. 2006.